What if I told you, you didn’t have to produce children to have a fulfilling life? Cue the gasps, a glass shatters in the distance, everyone turns and stares at us. That’s right, I said it. A life with no kids, no procreating, no giving birth. Some may consider you a DINK couple in this instance. This is 2019 people, and it’s time we start talking about this oh so very taboo topic.
Welcome to the DINK Life. To check out some of our favorite blog posts that are a great intro into what this lifestyle is like, scroll down or visit our About page.
What is a DINK? What does being a DINK Couple mean?
DINK stands for Dual (or Double) Income No Kids. Another alternative you may have heard is Double Income No Children, or DINC. It really doesn’t matter how you put it, a DINK couple is two people who have chosen or maybe involuntarily chosen, to live a life without little ones in the picture. These individuals are out there in the world prospering without the costs associated with having children. That means more disposable income! And, the rates of DINKs are increasing every year due to many factors.
Just recently, Ryan had one day where several people informed him they were DINKs. See, there’s a particular sense of pride associated with this fact when DINKs meet other married or steady couples who don’t have kids. But, I assume it’s because most people think Ryan and I are on the verge. The precipice of baby fever. But, I’ll get to our story later.
The Increasing DINK Couple Rates and Decreasing Birth Rates
We will live in a world of choices, which means many more people are choosing to live kid-free. According to an article by BusinessInsider.com, last year women in the U.S. gave birth to 3,853,472 babies, which was a 2% drop from 2016. In fact, this was the lowest birth rate ever recorded in our history.
I’d venture to guess that we’re getting ready to experience another decline in 2018 and it will continue like this for years to come. There are a lot of factors contributing to this decline, but honestly, I know a choice like this really comes down to a lot of personal reflection, self-motivations and ultimately, choice.
Some factors that I’ve had real discussions about lately include the current political climate and where that’s bound to take our country, global warming and the overall effects we’ve had on this planet, fiscal concerns and overall just plain fear of changing what is perfectly perfect right now.
A few other factors I’ve heard about and intend to explore soon:
- Career disadvantages (especially and more specifically for women)
- Child care is too expensive
- Not enough family paid time leave
- No time for children
- Worried about being a good parent
The list goes on and on.
Our Story of Becoming a DINK Couple
So, when we first learned about the DINK life a few months ago, something strange happened. At first, I became excited at the notion that there is a group of people who celebrate being child free. Then, the more I thought about it, the more I feared it. I was raised in a catholic family, which means children are not an option, they are a reality. It was always a question of “when” and not “if”.
After thinking more about the concept of not having children, Ryan and I started to believe in the idea. We always have said we just aren’t ready. But more importantly, we’ve always questioned whether we’ll ever truly want kids. Everyone else, of course, has another opinion.
How Moms Feel About the Child Free Life
Our moms desperately want grandchildren. Our coworkers and friends constantly ask when the kids are coming. If we meet new people and tell them we’ve been married two years, the first question is always when we will be having children. It’s like this whole world revolves around this formula of first comes marriage, then comes baby. Eerie flashback to childhood and getting teased about my crushes – K-I-S-S-I-N-G– you know the song.
However, we’re genuinely happy and love our life the way it is. Beyond some other medically related fears I have, that’s really the greatest and most honest reason we have for not wanting children.
But, don’t get us wrong. We don’t hate children. We don’t shrivel up in disgust every time someone tells us about their baby or pregnancy. In fact, our nieces and nephew are very special to us and we love them. But, we just feel like this choice of not having some of our own is much better for our lives.
So, here we are. A few months after learning about the DINK revolution, we decided we must make this better for others on this same journey. Not enough people talk about a child free life. And, it feels like we are stuck in the 50s whenever the subject comes up. The answer? More people should come together to talk about why it’s ok to be child free.
Choosing Happiness as a DINK Couple
So, when someone asks you when you’ll have children and proceeds to give you strange looks after you’ve kindly told them it’s not for you, what should you do?
Well, it starts with the happiness revolution. We’ve made so many strides in 2018 with more women speaking up for equal pay, more people choosing a life of independence rather than traditional jobs and so many more progressive ideas. Why are we still of the mindset that everyone needs kids?
What if happiness is being 100% confident in your choices. We have the ability to be whoever we want and live in a country where we still have the freedom to choose IF we want children. Until you don’t have that freedom anymore, take full advantage of making your own decisions. Really think hard about what makes you happy and if children are right for you. They may not be and guess what? That’s totally, definitely, absolutely OK!
Start Reading Here
As you read through our blog and get to know me (Amy) and Ryan, the DINK Couple, we hope you’ll be inspired to live a life that you’re happy with and that is fulfilling. Here are some blogs that may interest you as you get started in this topic: